Double Dare

Brace yourselves; the news is out there. The Lazy Baby Mama is at it again, as in pregnant. Yay! Please hold the applause because it’s not one, but two babies. Yes, twins. Did you just spit your coffee onto the computer screen? (I hope not, that’s how I ruined my last computer)

Not 4 months ago I convinced my husband it was time to start trying to have another baby. Over the past year I’ve been telling him it was going to take a long time and that we needed to start trying soon if we ever wanted to have another baby. I rambled off horror story after horror story of friends of friends who waited in between pregnancies then didn’t get pregnant for years. Finally he relented and not one month later I was pregnant – maybe we’re a bit more fertile than I had thought.

After a few weeks we had our sonogram scheduled. At that point the news settled in and we were both really excited about a baby. While we were sitting in the waiting room Dan and I were talking about how much easier it is this time around. Ali wasn’t exactly planned and we really had no idea what to expect.  I think I had some vision of myself living in a house-cave confined only to mom jeans for the rest of my life. I remember people would tell us to go eat out because once you have a baby you’ll never be able to eat out again. Thankfully none of that was true with Ali, she still enjoys an evening fine dining.

Anyway, so we’re in the waiting room talking about how super prepared we are when we get called in. I was nervous they wouldn’t find anything since the doctor said that it was early in the pregnancy and some times those suckers can squeak by undetected. After a few minutes the technician found a baby and we all sighed in relief. She printed us a pretty picture of an egg yolk and told me to sit back and relax because now she had to take a bunch of measurements. As Dan and I were trying see if we could decipher the sex of the tiny bean in the picture the technician said something I will never forget for the rest of my life: “And there’s a twin.” “What?” Dan and I replied in unison. “Yep” she said. I couldn’t even look at the screen and said, “You’re kidding?” She said “No.” I said: “OK, so ‘no’, like ‘no twin, you were kidding?’”  She then ended the conversation with “NO. I don’t kid”. Then I leaned over the table and saw it. Two tiny eggs looking at me like a pair of eyeballs.

Dan was shell-shocked and I started crying. It wasn’t tears of joy or fear it was just tears coming from my eyes. I was trying to speak to the technician like a normal human being but my eyes just kept tearing like my allergies were acting up. The technician was desperately trying to read us but we were so shocked and confused she couldn’t tell. I think she was just happy we weren’t cursing at her.

We left the office in a daze. Dan and I walked the streets of Hoboken for about an hour in silence. There is so much to do and even more to buy. We have all the baby stuff but now we need an additional set of everything. I had a panic attack the other day because I didn’t have any onesies. I called my mom freaking out so she went and grabbed me some onesies. When I got home I had another attack because I have nowhere to put these new onesies. – It’s going to be a long 9 months.

Were finally getting excited about the idea of having two. If this isn’t the very definition of the saying “You make plans and God laughs,” I don’t know what is. It makes sense though, I always wanted 3 kids but I really didn’t want to be pregnant 3 times. So this is probably the only way to achieve that. I’m pretty sure I would have only had two children if it weren’t for these twins. We can all rest assured that one of the twins will cure cancer, because that’s how those stories usually start.

So buckle up everyone, it’s going to be a long 9 months … well only 6 left. They’re due in January but twins usually come early. I’m feeling late December. You’ll hear the ups and downs and probably a little more about morning sickness than you ever wanted. Just relax and enjoy from a distance. And if you babysit please email me, we’ve opened the application process.