I once read an interview with Jullianne Moore where she said before she had children she was filled with insecurities. She would worry about her red hair or her freckles. Now that she has children she doesn’t have time to worry about those insecurities anymore. It’s a nice story except my worries seem to have gotten weirder with motherhood. Im not too worried about my freckles, especially when my daughter tries to take my mole off my face saying “dirty”. Before her that may have sent me crying into the other room but now I laugh.
Now I sit around worrying about really strange things. I have my usual worries, like is Ali speaking the way she should? Will she grow up to be happy? Did she hit her head to many times? Unfortunately my worries are usually much weirder. Like is a car going to run onto the sidewalk while Ali and I are walking by? One day is Ali going to decide to jump off the slide rather than slide down? Is someone going to crawl into my window from the fire escape? Is the air-conditioner Dan “installed” going to fall out the window? Is the TV going to fall off the wall and crush us all? Thank god I’m too scared to see those “Final Destination” movies or else I wouldn't leave the house. The strange thing is I don’t worry about them all day I only worry right before I fall asleep, in that weird dream state. It’s a really good way to ensure a nice restful sleep. I wake up OK though. I think I should start doing yoga again. Maybe life would be much easier if I sat around worrying about freckles?