Why I Hate the Playground



With all the commotion here on the east coast you may expect me to blog about Irene. But no one needs to hear the depressing story about how I stayed at my mothers for four days with no power only to return to my home and find I didn’t loose power at all. (All my alarm clocks were still set) I know, it’s sad.
Instead I think its time to discuss why I now hate the playground and all of its inhabitants. After the hurricane I decided to wander off my beaten path and check out some of the other playgrounds in the area. As we were about to walk into one playground I heard one of the kids ask another if his family had a Range Rover. I kept walking.
Ali and I ended up at a less crowded park and she ran off on the equipment. After a little while the place really started to clear out and it was just Ali and another young girl around 3. The girl was playing by herself with a little stuffed cat. When the girl tried to put the cat on the swing Ali walked over to investigate, since a cat on a swing is always a fun thing to watch. The little girl wasn’t happy with Ali circling her cat so she said “NO you can’t play”. OK the kids are establishing their sense of self and possession; I get it. Then this brat went on to tell me that her cat doesn’t like Ali. What? Excuse me? Are you trying to say your inanimate dingy cat has something against my daughter? This little girl had sunglasses attached to her had like swimming goggles, she’s lucky Ali and I are even talking to her.  It took every fiber of my being not to grab the cat rip its head right of the seams and throw it to kingdom come screaming “HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU”!! Cooler heads prevailed and through my teeth I asked “Why not?” She just ran off to play in eh corner by herself and Ali just played on the slide as usual. Please, why wouldn’t a stuffed animal like my daughter? She’s so chill and accepting, she was playing with a weirdo wearing goggles for the love of god. The next time we went to the park we saw the girl playing alone in the corner again, she tried to play with a boy on the swing and he said “No, I don’t want to play with you.” So it’s safe to say she got hers! 

5 comments:

  1. Please share what you would have done in this situation. Get creative!

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  2. i would have whispered quietly..."no one likes you, and no one likes cats...and your glassgles are ugly."

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  3. i would have snapped the sunglasses right into her face !!!!!

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  4. I would have tripped her and then kicked her mothers ass just because I can!

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  5. I would have said "Raaaant"

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