Bring Back the Boobs

The other day I took Ali to a free open house at the new gymnastics place near our apartment. The place was great with open space to run around, trampolines, swings... it was toddler heaven. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a woman in the middle of the room with a newborn baby in her lap.  Just as turned to look at the baby the woman whipped out her sizeable breast and began nursing. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. I tried to turn away. Then tried to not look like I was trying not to look at her but it was really difficult. I think I ended up just standing in the middle of the gym whipping my head around like I had a nervous tic trying not to make eye contact with anyone. Thankfully the only person I made it awkward for was me since I was the one who looked like an idiot.

Toy Fair 2012

I got an email last month from my editor asking if I wanted to go to Toy Fair. I had no idea what it was but I said “sure sounds like fun”. The reality is that I was completely unprepared for the largest display of child entertainment I had ever seen in my life. Holy moly never have I been so afraid and so excited at the same time. The Javitt's center was transformed into a sea of toys, anything you could think of. Some parents best friends some a parents worst nightmares (Marshmallow guns, Really? Like I want marshmallows shot behind my couch where they can be discarded or months). By the end of the day I wanted to scream down the isles “I WANT ALL THE TOYS”.

Turn the other cheek?

As a parent it’s pretty inevitable that one day your child will try to hit you. You can try to teach them hitting is wrong and control their exposure to other kids hitting. Hell, you can keep them locked in a room watching Sesame Street their whole lives and still somehow it will happen. You can only pray it doesn’t happen in a crowded restaurant full of your friends …

The Battle Between Good and Poop: Potty Training Begins

For the past 6 months when I go to pick up diapers for Ali I announce to her “this is your last box of diapers!” I think I’m hoping somehow by osmosis that statement will click something in her head and she will begin using the potty effortlessly on her own.  So far that tactic hasn’t worked with anyone. Now that she’s almost three it’s time for me to bite the bullet and get this girl going in the bathroom.

Say Something!

Most of my readers know that not too long ago I was struggling with the fact that Ali was two years old and didn’t have much interest in talking. Thankfully these days I haven’t been able to shut her up but it was a long arduous journey from silence to constant chatter.

You asked for it

Here is my infamous horrible haircut:

Let's begin the comment contest!

Rules:
Anyone who comments that the cut is "not that bad" will be given spam chain letters.
The winner will be given Pez.
Keep it clean, I know it's bad but the wounds are still fresh.





Ill Start the ball rolling:

• The 90's called, they want their hair back.
• I look like I should tuck my blouse into my pleated pants
• This is what Sally Field was going for in Mrs Doubtfire.

Ok ready .... go!

Impulse or Idiot?

             It’s no secret that I’m pretty cheap. I buy generic everything from ketchup to toothpaste.  One of things I particularly skimp on is my haircut. After I had Ali getting my hair done seemed more like an errand than “me time”. Frankly if I have a rare spare hour to myself I’d rather take a nap or an uninterrupted shower than get myself dressed and ready to go outdoors to a hair appointment. So far I’ve kept my hair long and have been getting away with a trim every 6 months or so.

Christmas Aftermath

The holidays are over and my apartment has been de-decorated. Now I have to deal with the aftermath that is known as Ali’s new toy collection. I remember when I was pregnant with Ali I returned home from her baby shower to find my entire living room packed from corner to corner with baby accessories. I asked my mother “do I really need all this stuff?” and she said: “you’re going to want everything and anything that will keep that baby quiet.” Two years later and I’m still collecting things to keep that baby quiet.

Undomestic

After three and a half years of marriage you would think I would’ve gotten the hand of this “home economics” thing but that’s not exactly true. Sure I clean, I do laundry and I rear a child but I just cant bring myself to master cooking. It’s not that I can’t cook I just don’t want to cook … ever. Why is it so difficult? Maybe it’s because I’m an instant gratification type of person. I never know what I want to cook until I’m too hungry to cook it. It’s a daily battle.