The Worst Monday


Nothing like a woodland creature attacking your child to get your blood flowing on a Monday morning. Okay that sounds like an exaggeration but let me share the story and you can be the judge.
It was a typical Monday morning, I got Ali off to school, the girls had their breakfast and they were ready to hit the hay for their morning nap. Everything was going smoothly when I saw Kendall had, what only can be described as a “piece of crap” on the back of her neck. It looked like a mole or a piece of chocolate. I tried to rub it off and nothing happened. Then I was thinking, “What the hell is this thing?” I noticed it almost peeled to one side like scab, but it wasn’t red or bleeding. I was very confused and wanted this garbage off my baby. Kendall wasn’t hurt, she was just annoyed her mother was messing around with the back of her neck. I finally squeezed it off. When I looked hard at this crap I pulled off her neck I saw that it hand tiny legs - it was a tick – I panicked.  

            Instead of calmly attempting to kill the thing I screamed and waved my hand around like an idiot until it flew off. I immediately realized that there was now a tick living in my home and I had no idea where it was. It didn’t help that I flung it towards my couch, where they apparently like to hide. I checked Kendall and there was no rash or ‘bulls eye” (which is the only thing I really know about ticks) so I immediately hit Google. Note to you guys – when you’re researching bugs don’t use the Internet. If I wasn’t already skeeved out enough, looking at images of bugs and bug rashes really threw me over the edge. I was holding back the vomit while I began vacuuming like a mad woman and ripping apart he couch.
I called the doctor to see what the next steps were. He told me to leave the tick on her and come in.  Right. I had to confess that I already took it out. (No one tells you it looks like a piece of crap on their skin and not a tick!) Then he told me to bring the tick in so they can test the tick for Lyme Disease. “Well I sort of freaked out and threw the tick” He sounded really disappointed in me. What would you do with a tick on your arm? Grab a Ziploc or throw it? I threw, and now I need to burn my house down to kill it.
Thankfully the doctor examined Kendall and gave her a clean bill of health. They assured me that if I was just able to grab the tick off her neck then it wasn’t really imbedded. He also told me the tick probably is still alive in my house and he’s looking for a host. It’s basically like living with The Predator. I have five days until he dies of starvation. So we’ll all be bathing three times a day and wrapping the couch in plastic.
Wish us luck in our battle against the blood sucking.

Lessons Learned:

DO: Put Vaseline on the tick and call your doctor.
DON’T: Try to take the tick off with your nail.

DO: Place the tick in a plastic bag
DON’T: See the tick and throw it across the room onto your couch.

DO: Call your doctor immediately after the incident
DON’T: Spend ten minutes on Google images to see if it was, in fact a tick.