My twins sleep through the night. There, I said it. I cant believe it, in fact m afraid to type it because maybe its not real. I’m not sure how it happened and if it’s really happening or I’m just so sleep deprived I’ve been hallucinating this whole time. If it is real then I must take the time to thank those responsible for this tiny (and also huge) miracle.

Some people think the opposable thumb was meant to open doors or perhaps grab tools, but that’s untrue. I’ve unlocked the secret. The thumb’s main use is only for a baby to suck. These teeny tiny digits are comforting my babies like no pacifier could; trust me I’ve tried. (Also if anyone needs a pacifier I have over 30 different types lying in my kitchen) I know they’ll have a mountain of dental work ahead of them if we kept this up.  I’m sure I’m not the first parent who would pay to have their kid sleep at night- I’ll just be paying in dental bills.

Yes nursing is over and the bottles began. Thank you Similac for making you’re sensitive formula. Sure its main ingredients are sugar and corn syrup but it’s just the concoction my twins need to keep the lactose proteins out and the nutrition in long enough to keep them satiated through the night. Thank you

Thank you pampers for making a diaper that can handle a baby's full overnight bladder. I’d be up two or three times changing diapers and pajamas if it wasn’t for you.  Good work.

Fisher Price
Yes my babies have cribs, basinets, swings you name it. But what’s their sleep spot of choice: the fisher price snug-a-bunny bouncy seat. With you’re vibrating option you soothe those twins to sleep like no other. I can’t say I’m happy with your battery life but you’re existence has kept my girls sleeping for two weeks now, and for that I thank you.

Sweet, sweet Ambesol. I’m pretty sure our family is single handedly keeping you in business. Those tiny tiny teeth are already starting to come in and you’re numbing relief is just the ticket to get them to rest. Way to go.

Thank you for making the 6000BTU remote start air conditioner. You’re fan option has kept the room at the perfect temperature for babies and also provides a soothing white noise that they just can’t sleep without. Thank you

My wonderful husband, he’s with me in the trenches and he needs to be thanked. Not only for all his hard parenting work but also for the fact that he cleans every bottle before he goes to sleep at night. I know full well that the one night we leave all the bottles dirty in the sink will be the night one of the girls wakes up. SO thank you Daniel for putting up a good defense.  

When I first found out I was having twins I was panicked by how much work it would be. I thought maybe it would’ve been better to have the twins first because I would have been ignorant to the amount of work a baby takes. I never realized how much more I could handle because of everything Ali taught us. Instead of calling the doctor every 20 minutes I’ve grown to recognize the signs of teething. Also I’m now the fastest diaper changer in the west, which helps with leaks and rashes.

Last but not least I have to thank Kendall and Kennedy. You work hard all day so you can be tired and sleepy all night. Your sleeping not only makes raising twins endurable but also enjoyable.

Great work team.