Where Do Babies Come From?

Explaining the impending arrival of the twins to our three year old has been a little bit easier than I would have thought. I announced to Ali that we would be having a new baby pretty much the day we found out. I tried to explain to her in terms that she would understand, basically I told her mommy had magic beans in her belly that were going to turn into babies. She was A-Okay with that explanation. Thank god she didn’t ask me how I got magic beans in my belly. That conversation would have been more complicated.

She’s been accompanying me to the sonograms so she’s seen them grow from tiny beans into tiny babies. I started showing her re-runs of “A Baby Story” on TLC so she could get used to how weird newborns look. We were watching a birthing scene (don’t worry no full frontal shots) and she saw the woman pushing and pushing then out came a baby and Ali exclaimed: “She pooped out the baby”. I immediately turned and said yes, you poop out babies. I felt we didn’t really need to go into more details with this for a few more years.

Now “Baby Story” is one of her favorite shows. The other day a woman wanted to do an at home water birth. Ali was very intrigued by this and kept saying “Ewe she’s pooping in the pool.” I know some women want to do a home birth (that terrifies me) and then some women want to do a water birth (not my cup of tea) but an at home water birth? The amount of supplies needed to set up this giant hot tub looking thing in their bedroom was just insane. And why would you want to clean that mess up after hours of non-epidural labor? Seems like way too much work to help you do one of the biggest amounts of work in your life. But to each his own, just make sure you don’t poop in the pool.

I have noticed that Ali isn’t all that excited about sharing lately. Anytime someone buys her a toy she explains that they will need to buy two more for the babies. No, Ali, we get one toy and we share, I’m not about to triple my toy count in this tiny apartment. Also anytime we go out to get toys she wants to pick up some toys for the babies. It seems sweet but I’m pretty sure it’s more calculated than that. She wants to ensure the twins have their own working toy supply so there is no chance they’ll encroach on hers. She’s already diabolical.

I have to say all things considered she seems to be taking all of this really well. I was nervous she would be in denial or start yelling things like “No I don’t want babies!” Although I’m pretty sure she doesn’t realize the new babies are going to live with us. I have a feeling she is excited about them but thinks she can put them away in her toy box when she’s bored with them. I should probably have a talk with her about how she can’t put real babies in a toy box.