I’m not proud of what I’ve done but my pride has never really been an issue on this blog. In fact, If I had any pride at all this blog probably wouldn’t exist. But, to my fans amusement, I will continue with the story.
I was on my way to a 10 PM comedy show at a restaurant in northern NJ. I invited a friend of mine who was under 21; The show was also at a restaurant so we figured there would not be an issue. There are about six entrances to the building and she chose the only one that had a bouncer checking ID’s. The bouncer refused her and then went on to tell everyone inside that she was not allowed to come in. I got briefed on all of this information while I’m parking my car in a nearby garage. I tried to calm my friend down by telling her I’m a block away I'll be there in a second. I ran to the show to find her with one of the mangers telling me there is no way he can let her in. I tried everything to get her into this show; I talked to the producers, the manager, you name it and we had no luck. Thankfully she was with some other girlfriends so they all went to a local Applebee’s and I was left alone to perform.
I went up on stage and did my thing, and as usual I rocked it. I stayed for a few more comedians but by 11:30 I was starting to get tired and decided I should head out. I thanked my producer and started walking to the car. When I was halfway there I realized I didn’t have my keys. "Oh no!", I thought. Now I had to walk back into the restaurant and try to quietly look for my keys like an idiot. The second I walked into he building it hit me “Oh no, please don’t tell me this is happening again” I ran 2 blocks to my car to find the doors locked and the keys in the ignition. As my loyal readers know this is not the first time this has happened… in fact it’s the third time, trust me I’m not bragging.
Normally I keep my cool in these situations but it was almost midnight, I was alone in a parking garage in a strange town. I was 98% certain this is how I was going to die. I could just see my tombstone: “If only she learned how to properly lock a car, none of this would have happened.”
I immediately went to look for the parking garage attendant. I was on the third floor of the garage so I ran around and around down the ramps until I got to the bottom. (If you think I would use parking garage stairs alone after dark your crazy). Thank god the attendant was still on duty so he could at least give me the address. I called Geico and they said they were sending someone over. It was 11:45 and he told me he would be there in 45 minutes.
The parking attendant got off at midnight but assured me there was no way he would leave me alone. Thank god because I wouldn’t dare go back to the restaurant again. I tried to smuggle in under age children and now I locked my keys in my car, they’d probably ban me for life due to instability. Although, if the attendant left I probably would have broken into the car using my shoes...maybe I am unstable.
Thankfully Gieco got there at 12:01. He opened my car in a few seconds using a wedge and what looked like a straightened out coat hanger (I should probably keep those in my purse in case this happens again). I thanked the guy profusely and got into the warmest car I’ve ever entered. I drove down to the attendant station and thanked my new friend. I tried to give him money but he wouldn’t accept it at all.
To top it all off I got lost getting home, but at that point I was so exhausted from standing around in a parking garage it didn’t matter… at least I was warm. I made it home at 1:45AM and crawled into bed.
I think a good idea would be to fix my car keys so that I actually need to have the keys in my hand in order to lock the car. But that costs money and then I wouldn’t have anything good to blog about.
To read more about me locking my keys in the car check here