The Worst Monday

Nothing like a woodland creature attacking your child to get your blood flowing on a Monday morning. Okay that sounds like an exaggeration but let me share the story and you can be the judge.

It was a typical Monday morning, I got Ali off to school, the girls had their breakfast and they were ready to hit the hay for their morning nap. Everything was going smoothly when I saw Kendall had, what only can be described as a “piece of crap” on the back of her neck. It looked like a mole or a piece of chocolate. I tried to rub it off and nothing happened. Then I was thinking, “What the hell is this thing?” I noticed it almost peeled to one side like scab, but it wasn’t red or bleeding. I was very confused and wanted this garbage off my baby. Kendall wasn’t hurt, she was just annoyed her mother was messing around with the back of her neck. I finally squeezed it off. When I looked hard at this crap I pulled off her neck I saw that it hand tiny legs - it was a tick – I panicked.  

I Don't Care. I Love It.

I am over women’s interests being crapped on. I was recently at an event for female writers and the question came up about whether or not you’ll be taken seriously if you call yourself a “mom blogger”. It’s beyond annoying that someone thinks me writing about something that is important to me will make me less of a serious writer. Sure my blog is about my kids but it’s a blog meaning it’s for me. If you read it that’s great if you think it sucks that’s cool too. I am the editor and chief and I will do whatever I want with it. If you wont take me seriously because of it then I don’t want to take you seriously. If I like it, it’s serious – period.

Lazybabymama's Guide to Christmas

There is so much going on around the holidays. We’ve got parties, dinners, gifts to buy, not to mention the 6 birthdays my family celebrate. Add that on top of your usual jobs, kids and regularly scheduled programming and you’ve got enough stress to refill your Xanax prescription. Thankfully you’ve stumbled upon Lazybabymama and I’m ready to share some tips on how to cut corners and tone it down to have a more relaxing, lazy holiday. Follow my steps and you’ll have a lazy Christmas worth remembering. This ain’t no Martha Stewart blog over here so don’t expect lifelong keepsakes or raves about your baking. But you can expect to make some memories because holidays are not about stress and anxiety, they’re about having fun and hopefully getting lazy.

There are no dumb questions.

Well 11 months have gone by in the blink of an eye. I know you’ve missed me but I’ve been busy lounging around relaxing all day getting pedicures and what not – yeah right.  I may not be hitting the salon but I’m getting the hang of it. Though, I never realized how much attention the girls and I would get while we were out and about. I’ve gotten somewhat used to the stares and the pointing and “awing” but the questions always amuse me.  Here is a random sampling of the questions I get asked by strangers almost every day.

Can't say Can't

Yay blogging! It’s been awhile. The twins finally nap on schedule, which means I have time to write. Here is what we have so far:

Ali wants a bunk be for her 5^th birthday. Sure all kids deserve the right to have a palace in the sky. I’m more than happy with the idea of saving space. There’s only one problem: Ali can’t climb a ladder.

A Sticky Situation - By Darren Pecoraro

     

                                 

            I think that anyone who knows me would agree that I love my sister. I admire her for all she has endured in her life, more than any human being should ever have to. I consider her to have well above average intelligence, and her opinion carries great weight with me. Having said all that, let us now dispense with the bull. My sister did something recently that seems incomprehensible to me. Something so ridiculous, that this story practically writes itself.

If Disney Princesses Went To Your High School

Check out the dope article I did for College Humor.com!
http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6897472/if-disney-princesses-went-to-your-high-school

Too Public of a Restroom

Although I spend most of my time cowering indoors with the twins, every now and then I venture out into the world and I’m still amazed at the things I find. The other day I was at the mall with my mom trying to nail down some birthday gifts for my husband. We hit up Macy’s and were able to scoop up everything we needed in a single stop – completely essential when you have twins and a four year old who’s too big to be strapped into a stroller.

So You Wanna Be a Coach?

 By Darren Pecoraro 

If someone would have told me I was to become a soccer coach in my middle age, I would surely have called them crazy. I hadn’t played soccer, watched soccer, or even picked up a soccer ball until I had my own children. When I was a child, it was baseball first, with football and basketball a distant second, and soccer not even on the radar. But as my young children began to take an interest in it, and then began playing it, I inevitably found myself in the position of assistant coach. After a season or two, I felt I could do it better, and decided to have my own team as head coach, which I did for five seasons. So with my two boys firmly ensconced in their respective travel soccer seasons, and myself in retirement, I though it would be fun to recall a few of my favorite moments as a recreation league soccer coach.

Gratitude

 My twins sleep through the night. There, I said it. I cant believe it, in fact m afraid to type it because maybe its not real. I’m not sure how it happened and if it’s really happening or I’m just so sleep deprived I’ve been hallucinating this whole time. If it is real then I must take the time to thank those responsible for this tiny (and also huge) miracle.

Jealous?

Twins are great, but taking care of them is terrible. We’re three months in and it has been epic. I thought raising one baby was crazy. Ha! Wouldn’t that be a break! Instead of wallowing in responsibility I’ll look on the bright side and celebrate my tiny victories.

Twix

Twix tend to be a sore subject in my family’s house. It all started when Ali, Dan and I moved in with my parents. It wasn’t our first choice to move into their laundry room with our toddler but that period of rent-free living was just the financial boost we needed to move on and up. It was especially great for help with Ali. I was able to announce: “Hey I’m going to take a shower” and whoever was closest to Ali at the time was deemed responsible for her for the following 30 minutes. It was great.

Safe Crackers!

Darren Pecoraro's brood is at it again.

Sometimes a money saving idea can cost you more in the long run. The cost can be money, aggravation, stress, or in my case (as usual), all of the above. Occasionally, an idea looks better on paper, than it does at fruition. When you add a mischievous 7 year old to the equation the results can be worse than anticipated.

To Van or not to Van?

 Now that we have three babies jammed across the backseat of my Jeep and little room for anything else the mini- van question reared its ugly head. But no matter how much easier it would make my life, I just can’t bring myself to get one.  I get it, I have a family, it’s not like a hot sports car is in my future but I consider a van to be the final nail in the coffin of my youth.

A Birthday to Remember

The girls are slowly getting into a sleep schedule so I figured I’d take this rare moment of well-slept clarity to share what has become the best birthday/pregnancy story ever.

Is this real life?

We're a month in with the twins so I figured I'd give a brief update. They're doing great but they aren't sleeping to well. Actually I take that back, I'm pretty sure they're sleeping fine, it's just that the second I get one to sleep, the other decides it's her time to wake up. It's a vicious cycle. In the middle of the night when I go to the bathroom I fantasize about not going back into my bedroom. I just want to sneak into Ali's toddler bed with her and when my husband comes to find me I just pretend Ali woke up in the middle of the night and needed comforting. It may work out better if I just lie on the kitchen floor to fall asleep. I can pretend that I fell in the dark, hit my head and was knocked unconscious. At least when Dan finds me he'd be concerned rather than angry that I left him hanging. In the end it wouldn't matter where I slept because I'm nursing, I'm their only source of food. They'll always come find me.

Sure it sucks but at least I have TWO of these:

They're Here

We welcomed Kendall Jaclyn and Kennedy Ann on December 27th 2012. I'm still running on no sleep which unfortunately means I can't make whole sentences. Don't worry I'll be sharing stories with you in no time (no promises on my grammar and spelling abilities).  For now you'll get pictures.

(FYI I look like crap. If you expect me to look "done up" I assume you don't have kids)

Charlie Brown Christmas - By Darren Pecoraro

When I got to high school, I met friends there I would keep forever, the kind of lifelong friends who saddle you with nicknames hard to shake. As it happens, one of my many nicknames in high-school was Charlie Brown. Perhaps it’s due to my rather large, round head, or maybe I’m just wishy-washy sometimes (I did date a girl named Sally briefly). Whatever the reason, it is one of the names which stuck, along with several derivatives, many of which I couldn’t repeat here. Suffice it to say I’ve been called a blockhead in every imaginable way. Christmas has always been a special time in my family, as it has in many families. I hope you enjoy some of my favorite moments from my past and present, as I present a Charlie Brown Christmas.

The Name Game

The date is set. On December 27^th (Or today and anytime in between if there is a god) I will be welcoming two, still unnamed princesses into the world. Seriously, we have no names.

Just End It

We had our first false alarm this weekend and it wasn’t fun. Around 8pm Saturday night I started having cramps. I told Dan that I didn’t feel well and his face went white as he told me I should be OK. I went to bed around 10PM and at 1230 I woke up with worse cramps and a few contractions. I tried to go back to sleep but the cramping and contractions persisted so I finally woke Dan up and told him I might be in labor. His glorious response was “no” and turned over and fell back asleep. (Don’t worry I’m returning his Christmas present)

I called the doctor and she said that those are signs that I’m in pre-term labor, which means I have to come in. I asked “now?” she said Yeah. So its 230AM I don’t have a bag packed, my 3 year old is fast asleep and my husband is in denial about the whole thing. Finally, I get him up, threw a few things into a bag and got moving. Dan refused to pack anything since he was still “certain” I wasn’t in labor.  We hit the road around 3, dropped Ali off at my parents and got to the hospital around 415. Not a bad mobilization if you ask me.

They got us hooked up to the monitors and IV’s and started running the tests. After about an hour they told me my contractions weren’t regular so they were going to do a test to see if there is a possibility that my water will break soon. Yes, there is a test for that. Turns out I was negative which means it’s 99% certain I’m NOT going to have a twins in the next 14 days. I have to say I was not relieved by that news at all. These girls are already up to 5lbs each and now they are going to grow for another 2 weeks minimum? It’s all for the best, but I’m dying.

Of course the first thing my mom did was look this test up online and she found ONE story of a woman who’s test was negative and ended up going into labor 2 days later. My mother is now convinced that I will be going into labor within the next two days. My doctor told me that’s not going to happen and I should just relax.

We also set a date for a C-section at December 27^th! Yay, although the doctor doesn’t think I will make it that long anyway. Super-lame. The only good thing about a C-section is that you can schedule it and know it’s coming. I have it scheduled but I’ll still most likely go into labor. At least the doctor said I don’t have to come down to the hospital unless my water breaks. Now my mom thinks if my water breaks I’ll end up having the twins in the front seat of my car. My doctor also said that is highly unlikely. Basically my doctor told me my mom isn’t allowed on the internet anymore.