Dogs Aren't Babies

I love dogs. This post is by no means a slight to the dog community. It’s more of a problem I have with the dog owner community. Having a dog is NOT the same as having kids. I love dogs. I grew up with two dogs that I love and cuddled, fed and cleaned up after. Dogs are part of the family but dogs are not children. Dogs don’t talk back and they don’t make scenes in restaurants.  If your dog has a cold you don’t have to take three days off of work to take care of it. If you want to go on a weekend getaway you can’t drop your kids off at a Kennel. You can drop them off at grandma’s but then you’ll get three phone calls a day asking “where is the diaper cream?” while you’re trying to relax on the beach. The only people who try to say their dog is their baby are people who don’t have babies.

             Please, I like your dogs but when I show you a picture of my daughter don’t show me a picture of your dog like they are the same thing. I carried her for 9 months gained over 60 lbs and went through 3 days of labor and you picked your dog up on a whim at the mall one day. Next time you show me a picture of your dog I’m going to show you the stretch marks on my ass and it won’t be pretty.

            I do think dogs are a good way to test a relationship to see if you are ready for a baby. But running for two hours a day on the treadmill in your basement is a good way to train for the New York City Marathon. You’re really never prepared until you do it.

            I’m not usually this angry about dog “parents” but the other day something set me off. I was in a clothing store when I saw a woman walking around with a stroller. I went to take a peek at the baby and jumped back when I saw a full-grown Pug dog sitting in the seat. That’s right this woman had her dog in a stroller. Ok, you want to dress your dog, bling your dog, dye your dogs hair or carry her around in a Louis Vuitton, OK your weird. But you want to tote the dog around in a stroller? You’ve lost your mind!

            So we’re all in agreement? Dogs are loving members of the family but they are not children. And God help you if you try and let your dog into the playground to play with the kids. I don’t let my daughter into the dog run so don’t let your dog into the kid run ... I mean playground.