I Don't Feel So Good

Some women glow when they’re pregnant. They just have a nice sense of calm about the fact that they have a baby inside of them. I am not that woman. Maybe it’s the twins but I find myself more sluggish, uncomfortable and grosser than ever. Here are some highlights of my journey:

No Underwear Allowed

I’m pretty sure I live in an affluent area. 99.9% of the neighborhood looks affluent. The main street is packed with cutesy kids shops and organic grocery stores. Most kids run around on expensive scooters and I often hear moms chat about how affordable the $20 per hour babysitter is. Usually I fly under the radar with my daughter, Ali. I know if we foster a friendship with one of the upper-crust families our bank account will be quickly drained by classes, parties and general everyday activities. But, there is one place that seems to be untouched by its inhabitants’ civic reach: my local sprinkler. Some parks have installed new cool sprinklers that even I would want to run in. They have mist tunnels, spinning components that dump buckets of water and even tiny waterspouts you can aim at your friends. Needless to say, they’re cool.

Double Dare

Brace yourselves; the news is out there. The Lazy Baby Mama is at it again, as in pregnant. Yay! Please hold the applause because it’s not one, but two babies. Yes, twins. Did you just spit your coffee onto the computer screen? (I hope not, that’s how I ruined my last computer)

Liquid Projectiles

Another gem from Darren Pecoraro. 

There is nothing quite like a family vacation to simultaneously relieve and create stress. I’m sure most parents would agree that a family vacation sometimes leaves you needing a vacation from your vacation.  While any trip can cause both relaxation and grief, it is sometimes the trip home that leaves you swearing to god almighty “never again, NEVER !!!!!”.  That is of course, until next year.

Queen of the Carousel

A shiny new playground opened up not too far from our house and everyone came out of the woodworks to check it out. It was amazing; it had a pirate ship area, a beach, a new-age jungle gym that even I wanted to climb up and a sprinkler park to boot. If the new equipment wasn’t enough to draw a crowd the park also put up a carousel for the opening weekend.

Stop Feeding Me

The gang just got home from Disney world and it was a wonderful time. It’s hard to call waking up at 8am and running around until 10pm a vacation but it really was fun. We had minimal whining and only one breakdown – which was a huge success.

Stir of Echoes

   With Kelly on vacation, Darren Pecoraro has graced us with another guest post. 

“Yell at your child and you’ll raise a yeller”, so the axiom goes. My father was a yeller, and I have been known to elevate my voice from time to time, as my 2 boys will certainly attest. Along with the occasional yelling, there is the sound of joy and laughter. Nothing is more pleasant to a parents’ ear, than the sound of their child’s laughter echoing through the halls. There are echoes in my home, both literal, and figurative.

Curb Your Toddler

The family is heading to Disney World next week and I can barely contain my excitement and fear. It may be the land where dreams come true but some of those dreams are nightmares. There will be dozens of diversions to attract my three year old and what kid wouldn’t go darting into a crowd towards a magic carpet ride? In my pre-vacation panic I’m asking myself the not-so-age-old question: “To leash, or not to leash?”

Body Issues

The other day I was leaving my house and the kind old lady next door patted me on the belly like I was a Buddha and pleasantly asked if I was having another baby. Basically any self-esteem I had mustered up in the years since I’ve given birth was washed away with one swoop of her tiny old lady hand. Seriously, I was wearing leggings like they were regular pans; that’s how good I was feeling before this incident.

The Duct Tape Initiative

 Another guest post from Darren Pecoraro:    


 Several years ago my darling wife thought it would be a good idea to have another child. We were planning a move to New Jersey, and what better way to tie it all together than the arrival of Andrew Richard. She convinced me I was being selfish in hesitating and that our son Christian needed a “partner in crime” (Who knew just how accurately that statement would manifest itself?). Eventually, she lured me in with her feminine charms, and the rest as they say, is history. I will repeat here what I have said for many years: “The best thing about kids … is making them.”