The Worst Monday

Nothing like a woodland creature attacking your child to get your blood flowing on a Monday morning. Okay that sounds like an exaggeration but let me share the story and you can be the judge.

It was a typical Monday morning, I got Ali off to school, the girls had their breakfast and they were ready to hit the hay for their morning nap. Everything was going smoothly when I saw Kendall had, what only can be described as a “piece of crap” on the back of her neck. It looked like a mole or a piece of chocolate. I tried to rub it off and nothing happened. Then I was thinking, “What the hell is this thing?” I noticed it almost peeled to one side like scab, but it wasn’t red or bleeding. I was very confused and wanted this garbage off my baby. Kendall wasn’t hurt, she was just annoyed her mother was messing around with the back of her neck. I finally squeezed it off. When I looked hard at this crap I pulled off her neck I saw that it hand tiny legs - it was a tick – I panicked.  

I Don't Care. I Love It.

I am over women’s interests being crapped on. I was recently at an event for female writers and the question came up about whether or not you’ll be taken seriously if you call yourself a “mom blogger”. It’s beyond annoying that someone thinks me writing about something that is important to me will make me less of a serious writer. Sure my blog is about my kids but it’s a blog meaning it’s for me. If you read it that’s great if you think it sucks that’s cool too. I am the editor and chief and I will do whatever I want with it. If you wont take me seriously because of it then I don’t want to take you seriously. If I like it, it’s serious – period.

Lazybabymama's Guide to Christmas

There is so much going on around the holidays. We’ve got parties, dinners, gifts to buy, not to mention the 6 birthdays my family celebrate. Add that on top of your usual jobs, kids and regularly scheduled programming and you’ve got enough stress to refill your Xanax prescription. Thankfully you’ve stumbled upon Lazybabymama and I’m ready to share some tips on how to cut corners and tone it down to have a more relaxing, lazy holiday. Follow my steps and you’ll have a lazy Christmas worth remembering. This ain’t no Martha Stewart blog over here so don’t expect lifelong keepsakes or raves about your baking. But you can expect to make some memories because holidays are not about stress and anxiety, they’re about having fun and hopefully getting lazy.

There are no dumb questions.

Well 11 months have gone by in the blink of an eye. I know you’ve missed me but I’ve been busy lounging around relaxing all day getting pedicures and what not – yeah right.  I may not be hitting the salon but I’m getting the hang of it. Though, I never realized how much attention the girls and I would get while we were out and about. I’ve gotten somewhat used to the stares and the pointing and “awing” but the questions always amuse me.  Here is a random sampling of the questions I get asked by strangers almost every day.

Can't say Can't

Yay blogging! It’s been awhile. The twins finally nap on schedule, which means I have time to write. Here is what we have so far:

Ali wants a bunk be for her 5^th birthday. Sure all kids deserve the right to have a palace in the sky. I’m more than happy with the idea of saving space. There’s only one problem: Ali can’t climb a ladder.

A Sticky Situation - By Darren Pecoraro

     

                                 

            I think that anyone who knows me would agree that I love my sister. I admire her for all she has endured in her life, more than any human being should ever have to. I consider her to have well above average intelligence, and her opinion carries great weight with me. Having said all that, let us now dispense with the bull. My sister did something recently that seems incomprehensible to me. Something so ridiculous, that this story practically writes itself.

If Disney Princesses Went To Your High School

Check out the dope article I did for College Humor.com!
http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6897472/if-disney-princesses-went-to-your-high-school

Too Public of a Restroom

Although I spend most of my time cowering indoors with the twins, every now and then I venture out into the world and I’m still amazed at the things I find. The other day I was at the mall with my mom trying to nail down some birthday gifts for my husband. We hit up Macy’s and were able to scoop up everything we needed in a single stop – completely essential when you have twins and a four year old who’s too big to be strapped into a stroller.

So You Wanna Be a Coach?

 By Darren Pecoraro 

If someone would have told me I was to become a soccer coach in my middle age, I would surely have called them crazy. I hadn’t played soccer, watched soccer, or even picked up a soccer ball until I had my own children. When I was a child, it was baseball first, with football and basketball a distant second, and soccer not even on the radar. But as my young children began to take an interest in it, and then began playing it, I inevitably found myself in the position of assistant coach. After a season or two, I felt I could do it better, and decided to have my own team as head coach, which I did for five seasons. So with my two boys firmly ensconced in their respective travel soccer seasons, and myself in retirement, I though it would be fun to recall a few of my favorite moments as a recreation league soccer coach.

Gratitude

 My twins sleep through the night. There, I said it. I cant believe it, in fact m afraid to type it because maybe its not real. I’m not sure how it happened and if it’s really happening or I’m just so sleep deprived I’ve been hallucinating this whole time. If it is real then I must take the time to thank those responsible for this tiny (and also huge) miracle.